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Tonight I’m wiping up the tears and putting on my game face for the next seven weeks. Last week my husband got a job offer that will require him to be out of town for the next seven weeks to train for the new position; leaving me to hold down the fort at home. I’d like to say that I’m excited about this new job, but in reality I’m scared.
His new job will require him to travel…a lot!
Earlier in our marriage, I was the one who had to travel upwards of 60 days out of the year. I look back at those years and wonder how it was so easy for him. I don’t ever remember him complaining that I had to leave, or worrying about getting our toddler off to school AND make it to work on time. He just….managed. Part of me really enjoyed traveling and getting to see new parts of the country; but the reality was I spent most of my time alone in airports and hotels.
Right now we share most of the joys of parenting. He’s able to help get the kids to and from school on his off days, he’s able to help get them to after school activities, he’s able to help out around the house, and helps with those challenging days when being a parent really sucks. For the next seven weeks, it’s all me, all the time! He may get to come home one day a week through training, I don’t really think we’ll spend our family time cleaning or doing homework! That one day will most likely be our family fun day making sure that we all stay connected.
It’s easy to look at all the negative impacts that the next seven weeks will have on us, but I am choosing to look at the positives. This will force me to be a more organized parent (not one of my strengths) and help me stick to a schedule. I can finally cook meatloaf six days a week if I want to (he hates meatloaf). I only have to wash laundry for three people instead of four. My son has finally learned how to mow the lawn so I won’t have to. I don’t have to feel guilty for working late after the kids are in bed. I may finally get to finish the final 3 seasons of Sons of Anarchy (just don’t tell him).
Once his training classes are done I’m sure our schedules will equalize and we’ll figure out how to balance our marriage, family and travel schedules. I’m thankful to have the summer to adjust while the kids are out of school. We may even get to travel a little more this summer and tag along on a few of his trips. The kids love to travel just as much as we do. The kids have already started to make a list of their must-see locations; New York and Alaska are on the top of their lists.
I know that many of my readers are military spouses, what tips and tricks do you have to help make the one parent lifestyle a little more manageable? Does your parenting style change when your spouse or partner is home? Any tips for keeping the romance alive while you’re not together?
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Dr. Sue Johnson, the bestselling author of Hold Me Tight and Love Sense (2014), is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. Creator of an effective new model of relationship repair (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy), she has written numerous articles and trained thousands of therapists around the world. Johnson is a recognized innovator who has changed the field of couples therapy. She divides her time between New York, San Diego, and Ottawa.
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Disclosure: I am a blog partner with Dr. Sue Johnson and the National Marriage Seminars. This post is part of a sponsored campaign to share the event with my readers and to tell my personal relationship story with you.
Totally feel your pain, but truly admire how you’re planning on handling the distance and the together-time as a family. Cheering you on!
Heather recently posted..Straz Center’s Patel Conservatory presents On The Edge
Sounds like it’s the perfect time to get on Snapchat 😉
Hugs Calley!!!
What a unique opportunity as an adult to grow and expand– I know many people do if single or single-ish because of work expectations… but like you said, it’s new to you. We get so set in habits and I hope this turns into an opportunity for your family to blossom even more beautifully. :0)
Sorry hon! My hubby wanted to go for a job that requires a year in a different city (across the country), since we homeschool now it wouldn’t be so big of a deal but an issue has come up that we really need to stay close to home for so I guess he won’t be running off to the coast any time soon. I’m sure he would have loved it, but some times priorities are what they are.
Since your kids are older, it should help a lot. I say have meatballs, meatloaf, and meatball soup (soooo good). Let them eat dessert first. Stock up on their favorite snacks now and give them some independence, by summer they’ll be doing their own thing and you’ll be chilling by the kiddy pool with a margarita!
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My first husband traveled 4-5 days a week for the first few years after our first child was born. I remember my mother telling me I would get so used to him not being around and it would actually be harder when he was home because I would have a rhythm that worked for me. She was so right! In the blink of an eye your husband’s training will be over and you will be wondering when you get to have meatloaf again
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I would have a really hard time with this too. I recently visited my family in Cincinnati alone for 4 days and we both had a hard time with it. It was our first time apart in 13 years! Good luck with everything. Just remember that you have friends too. You can always have them to come over to give you adult conversation or to watch the kids while you get away for a bit. I work nights, so I am available for middle of the night chats / crying. 🙂
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