I have a few friends who are pregnant and I’m trying really hard not to be too pushy on what they buy for their babies. I was looking over the baby gift registry for one of the girls at BabiesRUs and attempted to give her my recommendations (again, without being pushy). After glancing at the must-have list that BabiesRUs provides new parents I decided it was time to make my own list of must-NOT baby registry items.
10 Things You Can Leave OFF Your Baby Registry
- Disposable diapers. What? Don’t babies need diapers? Yes, but did you know that disposable diapers are full of toxins and chemicals? Your baby is going to be in diapers almost 24 hrs a day for the first 2-4 years of their life. Modern cloth diapers have come a long way since we were kids. They come in fun colors and prints and are just as easy to use as disposable diapers. What about the poop? As a parent I promise you that you will touch poop – even with disposable diapers. Put the poop where it belongs – in the toilet! Cloth diapers are eco-friendly, healthy for your baby, and will save you a TON of money. I promise you cloth diapering is not as hard as you think; just ask my doubting husband who is now a cloth diaper advocate himself.
- Formula. Women are made with an amazing ability to feed our children naturally. Breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for your children. Mothers milk is full of nutrition that will not only help your baby but will help you as well. Mothers who breastfeed are less likely to get breast cancer. Breastfeeding isn’t always easy and no, not every mother is capable of successfully breastfeeding. However, I think that our society and our medical professionals make it too easy for us to give up on breastfeeding. Don’t buy the formula to have as a back up – your baby won’t starve. Work with a lactation consultant or breastfeeding specialist before, during, and after birth to ensure that you and your baby obtain the support you need.
- Baby Bjorn (and other forward facing baby carriers). *Note: Since writing this originally there have been several forward facing carriers that have been introduced that are much more ergonomical. I love the fact that parents want to wear their babies. It is one of the easiest and most comfortable ways to carry your baby. Baby wearing should however mimic the natural way that we carry our babies. The problems with Baby Bjorn and other similar carriers is that they aren’t ergonomically correct. Look at the picture below to see the difference in the way a baby sits in a Bjorn-like carrier versus a soft-structured carrier (like Ergo or Onya Baby). There are many different types and styles of baby carriers that are safe, comfortable, and easy to use. Wrap slings, ring slings, pouch slings, mei tais and soft structured carriers are a better option. One of the newer lines that offers six different positions (including forward facing) is the lillebaby line.
- Strollers. OK – this one is optional but I have to tell you that ours just got dusty sitting in the garage. I’m not a big shopper so I don’t go to the mall often. When we do go out places where a stroller might be helpful we ended up wearing our kids instead. Traveling was so much easier with our baby carrier because it was one (two actually) less thing we had to lug around. We did end up using our umbrella style stroller a lot when they got older. Even today we use our $19.99 cheapie stroller for my toddler at Disney and other places where we will be walking a lot. Jogging strollers? If you are an athlete/runner and you really want to take your baby along with you then by all means invest in a good stroller. When (if) I run, I want to be alone and leave the little one home with daddy.
- Anything Johnson & Johnson’s brand! Baby wash, baby moisturizer, and bubble bath are very useful (and needed) BUT please don’t buy Johnson & Johnson. Their products are full of unnecessary ingredients, artificial fragrances, and artificial colors that a baby doesn’t need. Many of these ingredients are considered toxic and may make your sensitive baby’s skin worse! Don’t be fooled by their natural or organic lines either – they aren’t exactly natural or organic! Instead look for products from Earth Mama Angel Baby, EcoStore USA, Episencial, Tot Logic, and Dolphin Organics. These brands may even be found locally. To find out more about what ingredients are in your baby products visit the Environmental Working Groups Skin Deep Database.
- Baby tubs. Yes, you need to bathe your baby every few days but those bulky plastic baby tubs are cumbersome and awkward. We mostly washed our baby in a sink when they were little and in the tub as they got older. The newer wash pods or tummy tubs
would be a better option than the traditional baby tubs.
- Bulb nose suckers. This picture was circulated on Facebook last week from a Huffington Post article about those nasty nose suckers that you leave the hospital with. While we rarely used ours I’m afraid to open it up and see what is on the inside. I think I still have the same one my son used (and he’s almost 10 yrs old). The newer nose aspirators like Nose Frida
Source: Huffington Post
- Bottles. For starters you probably won’t need bottles for the first few weeks if you are able to successfully breastfeed (see #2 above). If you do have to return to work (or plan on leaving the baby for a few hours) you will need a few bottles but don’t go overboard on buying one certain brand or style until you know if your baby will even accept them. When shopping for bottles consider glass or BPA-free bottles and make sure that you get a nipple that most mimics the mothers breast.
- Pacifiers. This is another item that babies don’t NEED. Neither of my children even accepted them when offered. Pacifiers can cause nipple confusion to breastfed babies and aren’t necessary. My son was a thumb sucker (and yes, he sucked his thumb for a long time) but my daughter didn’t take a paci or her thumb. If you decide to try a pacifier to calm a cranky baby be sure you get one that is BPA and phthalate-free.
- Crib. If you really want to cut back your expenses and go the natural route a crib might be optional. Co-sleeping has become very popular and many parents find that they and their babies get a better night sleep when they share a bed. A cosleeper
Alright, so some of these items are optional and the majority of us will end up getting a crib for our nursery. I just wish that the big retailers would start looking at baby registries from a different, modern, and eco-friendly perspective. If you have questions about any of these suggestions please leave them in the comments section below. You can read all about our cloth diapering, baby wearing, and natural parenting journey in my archives. Just click the links in this article for more tips.
What about you? What one product did you find completely useless after having a baby? Don’t agree? That’s OK too – that’s part of what makes us all unique!
Disclosure: Some of the links in their article may be affiliate links. No company or brand sponsored this post or asked to be included. These are all products that I love dearly and used with my kids.
Love it! However, I would have to disagree about the crib. They make great sidecar’s, that will far outlast a bassinet cosleeper. I have a queen bed, so that extra room was MUCH appreciated!
Like I said, we actually had a crib (used the same one for both kids). I know plenty of parents that have them more as decoration in the nursery instead of actually using them. I’m wondering why my daughter has a room at all – she is always in our bed!
Calley recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
I was given a hand me down swing and a bouncy seat. My son hated both. Also I never used my boppy, my breast friend pillow was much better.
I never got to try the breast friend pillow. We made do with our Boppy but it was rather annoying most of the time.
Calley recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
I’ll second that! I used a bobby with my first and ended up having to put a pillow under it. Then I just started using 2 pillows and it was always kind of a pain. For my second I got the brest friend pillow and it was a HUGE difference! I loved how it gave me some back support and it was firm enough to keep the baby high enough so I wasn’t as hunched over. I even walked around the house nursing sometimes while wearing it!
I will say that the nose bulb thing is a bunch of crap. Clearly the person who first shared that picture NEVER cleaned their bulb correctly. We were really laid back about washing ours. I would only wash it at the end of whatever sickness was working it’s way through our house. Hot soapy water and then apple cider vinegar to rinse and made sure that it was hung up so that any leftover water could drip out. Everything but the vinegar, I was told to do by the hospital that my son was born at. When this stupid picture started going around I threw out all my bulbs, but then decided to cut one open and see. It was probably cleaner than the day it was given to us.
If you aren’t a lazy mofo, then your nose bulb is going to be clean and safe for your baby. Wash it in hot soapy water and hang it up to drip dry and you will be fine.
Well I do have to admit that I’m pretty lazy when it comes to these things! LOL! I’m going to go cut mine open now and see what it looks like.
Calley recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
Yup. I cut one of mine open too (2 years old) and it was super clean inside. Conversely, my Nosefrida got mold in the tube, even though I only ever cleaned it with rubbing alcohol.
I stopped using the bulb because it smelled HORRIBLE after awhile! I tried boiling it but nothing could get rid of the smell and I didn’t want to know what was in there! I have always boiled my nose frida and no issues yet. At least if it does mold I’ll be able to see it because the tube is clear, but so far I feel I’ve gotten my monies worth!
I must say that I can understand so of this. But you know formula can be a must. Not all women can make enough milk to provide for her baby. And in that case yes her baby will starve! It is hard on a woman who wants to do what is for their baby and then to be told she doesn’t make enough milk and that is why her baby is crying and losing weight. And then to be told formula is so wrong makes them feel even worse.
Ginger I can completely understand where you are coming from. I don’t want any mother to think that using formula is bad or wrong. However; I don’t think it should be a baby registry item either. It just seems so wasteful to buy several bottles before the baby arrives not knowing if you’ll need it or if your baby will even accept it. I think women should always try breastfeeding first – then make the switch if it’s necessary. ((Hugs))
Calley recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
formula is very expensive though and if turns out you can’t breastfeed and you don’t have a lot of money, that is a HUGE expense. Some woman don’t put it on their list in expectation of failure, but put it on their list of necessity in case they aren’t able to provide for their child. Formula is not bad for a child and I think that woman who give their children formula, regardless if it’s from the start or after BF trouble, shouldn’t be spotlighted.
Cash and gift cards always seem to be a viable option as a gift.
However, if a woman cannot afford formula, there’s always WIC and local charities and I never seem to have a shortage of anything that I had asked for from friends and family AFTER the baby was born. After all, a baby can elicit all kinds of sympathy. ;D
You can also sign up to all kinds of Baby info. It’s interesting on how much free formula samples are given. With my youngest son, I had gotten three whole cans aside from the small travel packets and a few other samples.
FYI, formula IS expensive, which is one of the main reasons I chose to breastfeed. If a woman knows she cannot afford formula before she has the baby it would be wise to choose the less expensive option. You will get free samples the mail if you know where to look (hint: Google) Save them in the event you cannot breastfeed, and they should last long enough for you to find other options.
I ended up throwing my samples out as they are not acceptable donations.
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This was such a GREAT post! I registered for all of these things, and got them for my first. I’m much smarter the second time around. However, I’m not sure I could live without my jogging stroller 🙂
Also, a great alternative to the crib is the Rock N’ Play Sleeper. It was a miracle with our reflux babies, who had to be propped up to avoid aspirating.
Thanks!!!!
Heather recently posted..Whole Family Incentive Chore Chart
Thanks Heather!
Calley @TheEcoChic recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
I have to disagree on the Rock n Play sleeper – read the Amazon reviews. Our daughter developed a flat head in the back because of the hard plastic piece behind her head (wish I would have done more research….) and we had to spend $3000 on a helmet. Also loaded with fire retardants.
I agree with numbers 3 and 5 and for many #1, but disagree with the rest of the list. We have 3 kids and each babyhood has needed different items.
-diapers- we have lived 2 places where the water conditions would not allow for cloth diapering.
-bottles and formula-A medical issue as a teenager left me unable to breast feed. I was unaware the condition had done this until I was pregnant with baby #3. If I hadn’t had a few bottles around, I may not have been able to afford bottles and formula when we realized oldest had lost 2 lbs as a newborn.
-strollers- I think this depends greatly on your lifestyle and location. If you walk to or at a lot of places, your probably going to want one. Live in a more rural area, probably not.
tub- I think this another one that is a maybe. If it’s hot where you live or your kid spits up a lot, that tub will come in very handy.
nose sucker- Just clean it. The use of this could also depend on the season your baby is born or the climate you live in.
Pacifiers- I had one that used it constantly, 1 that hated it and 1 that used it for a short times. Really depends on the kid.
Crib- With 2 of our kids I used this a lot. Our 3rd was really tall and could get it out of it shortly after learning to pull himself up and we found ourselves traveling a lot his first year. He maybe slept in his crib 2 dozen times at the most and that was mainly for naps.
On a side note, we’ve found plan water works really well at getting babies clean. They really don’t need soap until they start producing some of those stinky older kid hormones.
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I completely agree about the use of water to get babies clean. Many times that’s all they need. Thanks for leaving a comment Crystal.
Calley @TheEcoChic recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
i agree. i still dont use shampoos on my 5 and 6 year old 🙂
I use the Arbonne Baby Care soap for their hair, bath and everything. It’s really gentle and I feel like my kids get dirty so I feel better putting something in their bath.
All things I pretty much did not request We did buy a great stroller though. We still use it and we got lots of use out if it. I used it for grocery shopping, and when we traveled. My back was bothering me a lot, so having the stroller was a great help when I couldn’t babywear all the time. That snot sucker is so gross! 😉
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I’ve never figured out how to push a stroller and a shopping cart at the same time though. 🙂
Calley @TheEcoChic recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
The shopping cart IS a stroller! lol
totally agree 😀
fourth baby (with no baby things in storage as wasnt planning on a fourth)
babygrows white x 20 (10 0-3 months 10 3-6 months)
vests white x 20 (10 3-6 months 10 6-9 months we cloth nappy so always size up)
hand knitted cardigans x 5
second hand cot, remove the side and use bungy cords to attach to the adult bed, large piece of memory foam cut to fit the cot, so you dont have to roll up a towel to fill the gap 😀 plenty of how tos if you google it.
one simple navy cotton didymos wrap (sling)
carseat
nappies and bucket (mixture of various cloth nappies)
feeding bras, vest tops to make any top into a feeding top.
total spend: around £400
That’s a pretty impressive list!
Calley @TheEcoChic recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
That’s an interesting list. I have to disagree with a few of the items though. First, the pacifier. My doctor told us that neither a bottle or a pacifier will cause nipple confusion… and my first two girls WANTED (dare I say needed) a pacifier, even though they were well fed from the breast, and not once did we ever have any problems with them being confused. What can they really be confused about anyway? Something is in their mouth, they suck on it. I’ve never gotten the nipple confusion thing. Theoretically, couldn’t thumb sucking (which is dirtier and bad for their teeth) cause the same problem?
Also, a crib was a must in our house. My girls have been in their cribs for naps and bed time since 1 month/ 2 months of age. We’ve never had a bad nights sleep because of it and they have never suffered from it. I also don’t wake up to a toddler crawling into my bed.
As for the tubs.. I hate the big plastic ones, but there are new mesh ones that fold away and are easy to clean. We loved ours. It made bath time easier, it folded away so as to not take up a lot of room, and it got them used to being in the tub, so that when they were big enough to sit up on their own, we had an easy transition. It also made it easy to bathe the oldest and the baby at the same time.
and that’s the great thing about being parents – we don’t have to agree do we? Thank you for your comments – I’m loving hearing everyone’s thoughts.
Calley @TheEcoChic recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
My baby got nipple confusion from her first bottle feeding at 6 weeks old. It took her a while to take the bottle, which she kept pushing out with her tongue (nursing requires a tongue motion under the nipple that interferes with bottle feeding). Then, once she got the hang of it, she wasn’t nursing as strong! I could tell she wasn’t doing it right. She eventually remembered, but still to this day pushes pacifier out and won’t take a bottle consistently.
Oh, and we’ve been showering with our baby. We saw it on the discharge video that the hospital made us watch and love it. Takes some practice, but we love it, especially when we’re both there to assist 😉
My baby had nipple confusion and after an undiagnosed tongue tie and a little ignorance on our part it took 5 weeks of pumping and trying everything to get him back to the breast. A few months of no bottle and he had no idea what to do with those anymore either. Nipple confusion is very real for some babies and not something to be taken lightly.
I’m so glad someone finally said something about a toddler climbing into their bed. A crib is a necessity, ok maybe not a “crib” but a bed of their own. My bed is MY bed and I share it with my husband not my child. A child belongs in their own bed not between a man and wife… especially at a young age where there is the threat of suffocation.
Also, as for the bottles… even if you breastfeed which I did exclusively for my 2 girls and plan to for this little boy, you still need them for times you’re unable to give them the boob. If you pump and store your bmilk, then how do you feed it to them if not for bottles?
I agree with women above about the stroller too. It depends on your level of activity and your location. I walked all of the time for exercise, and used my strollers for shopping trips, and outings of any kind really.
And the “booger sucker” as we like to call it in our house has been used for all kids and we’ll keep using it. Never had any problems, smells, or mold. However I did throw out all the bath toys with holes in them for that reason.
I do however really agree and support your statements about mother’s TRYING to breastfeed first. That’s not to say they shouldn’t register for formula or bottles, but let’s not let those items be an excuse for really giving it all you’ve got to make breastfeeding work. I think all too often women these days give up or don’t even try.
Nice post, but I do disagree with a few things. I swear by a crib. My kids have all slept overnight and for naps well, and I think it’s partly because they slept in their cribs from day one. As toddlers they too found their way to my bed, and I love that. But I also sleep so much better with them in another room where I don’t hear every movement.
I needed a tub. My bathroom sinks are just too small to wash a baby, and I’m just not a kitchen sink to clean the baby kind of mom.
I completely agree about the cloth diapers and no forward facing carriers. I disposable diapered my first two, but now with my third, I am a cloth diapering convert, and I love it. I’m even trying to convince everyone I know to switch over. And now I know why #1 and #2 hated the Bjorn. #3 LOVES the Moby and Ergo, and so do I.
As for things on the registry that are useless in my opinion – wipe warmers, bouncy seats (mine used a swing, but I don’t think I ever needed both), Bumbo seats (#2 popped himself right out, thankfully he was on the floor in an open area), baby powder (I have no idea why that is still on registry lists), those formula dispensers with three sections (mine always seemed to “leak” from one section to another).
I used a crib a LOT! I just thought it was a fun way to end the post. If I had to do it all over again I would reconsider the crib personally but I know that is not the normal thought process. Thank you for your comments Debbie!
Calley recently posted..10 Things You Can Leave Off Your Baby Registry
All we really used for the first three months was our cloth newborn diapers and wipes, Moby Wrap and our co-sleeper. Everything else pretty much collected dust until our baby was about 5+ months
While most of those rang true to me as a ‘natural’ parent, I can’t imagine being a new/expecting parent and reading this. I probably would have stopped reading after the first post. I guess i thought the list would have been full with real non-necessities like baby bath robes, crib bumpers and wipe warmers. Good list for those that are going to do attachment parenting though.
Heather I thought the exact same thing when I first read this. I’m not really a ‘natural’ or attachment parenting type and these definitely are extreme for a new parent.
i did all the “natural” and “attachment” parenting things without ever reading a list or a book. i did them as a first time young mother. i did them because they felt right even though pretty much all the people i knew thought it was bad practice to breastfeed, hold a newborn and sleep with them. i don’t think the list will scare off young/new mamas, i think some may actually learn something other than how to detach and may finally realize they are not a lone in their desire to care for their child in a certain way. and i must say i can’t stand the term “attachment” parenting, because when you say “I’m not into that attachment stuff” it sounds bad, you really aren’t attached to your child? you want to say your a detachment parent?
heathermama recently posted..In my head
GREAT post! Just had to share this on Facebook. I’ve never seen a post about registry items that I agree with so whole-heartedly. The only one of those things we used was a stroller — My mom insisted we needed one and found one secondhand for less than $20. My son did end up LOVING the stroller, but we didn’t put him in it until he was several months old.
People always think I’m crazy when I say you don’t need a crib. We had a co-sleeper, which I do like for the first few months (and was also nice as a ‘pen’ when we went camping) but right after that, we did a mattress on the floor next to our bed. Cribs are so unnatural to me! Baby jail.
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I breast fed my baby and used a pacifier, it never caused nipple confusion. And a crib is a must have!! We used a crib from the time my baby was a couple months old and our whole family enjoys a full night’s sleep 🙂 Its funny that you say parents who co sleep get a better nights sleep, most parents who co sleep complain because their babies never learn to sleep through the night without nursing all night. I am 100% for soothing my baby and 100% for breast feeding but I also believe learning to sleep is a life skill that is necessary for the health and well being of everyone in the family. 🙂 Otherwise great post, I received so many things that I thought I would need and never used.
I agree with just about everything. My one dissention is a crib. My son is almost 4 years old and I can count on one hand the nights he’s slep in our bed. My husband (an Iraq and Afghanistan veteran) has PTSD, and moves violently in his sleep. Also, I went back to work 6 weeks after birth. I already was suffering from post-partum, and I really believe it would have been much worse, and dangerous for our son if we had co-slept. A crib is essential.
I eventually quit work and stayed home. I did all other attachment parenting, but my bed and bedroom are MY sacred space. Get a crib, or at least have one picked out and the funds available, because the last thing you want is to have a newborn and a post-partum mom shopping for a crib on credit.
My daughter is at our house tonight and see agrees with all ten. She is expecting #2. She returned several of these items for store credit for things she needed
Love your list! Thank you for sharing, even if you feel like the minority! Everyone’s experience is going to be different but it’s neat to read what works/doesn’t work for others! I love cloth diapering, nursing (and pumping at work), and babywearing. My stroller is also collecting dust! (And my husband and I are crazy marathoners). My baby does love his Wubbanub – it’s a pacifier with a small stuffed animal attached. He can play with the animal and reach it more easily if it falls. I also prefer Aden + Anais blankets over those small receiving blankets. Someone else mentioned the Rock n Play sleeper – we LOVED ours (and kept it clean despite the recall regarding mold) until he outgrew it. At that point, we did move him to a crib and he’s a great sleeper. Thanks again for sharing! 🙂
Coming from a RN stand point I must disagree with many of the items. Many women have difficulties getting their baby to latch properly the first few days and it can’t be frustrating with so much pain, fatigue and stress from labor. Pacifiers are not necessary but it is scientifically proven to be easier to break as a habit than thumb sucking if you had to choose, and a pacifier is not just for a mothers use. Suckling is a babies way of calming its self and perform ‘non nutritive sucking’ which is also calming to them. Also, it is not safe to sleep with your baby ( a side by side sleep system is different of course). But, lets watch what habits we are introducing to our children. Babies are cute in the bedroom but 6,7,8 and above are not.
Actually,introducing formula when beginning the breastfeeding relationship can hinder milk production…and there are no guarantees that a baby who doesn’t get a pacifier will be a thumb sucker-none of my children did either.
Also,be sharing when done responsibly is very safe and helps the baby to regulate their breathing and heart rate.I be shared with all four of my babies and they sleep happily and peacefully in their own beds now.
Side note:one must be careful to suggest non-nutritive suckling when breastfeeding as it can hinder milk production (and it won’t help delay the menstrual flow return either…ugh!)
Denee recently posted..Pregnancy week 10
bed sharing…darn auto correct!
Denee recently posted..Pregnancy week 10
“Many women have difficulties getting their baby to latch properly the first few days and it can’t be frustrating with so much pain, fatigue and stress from labor.” ….and then the doctor recommends you supplement with formula right (for the babies sake of course)? Of course, just give up! Horrible advice! I did that with my first and it screwed up my production. I was forever supplementing and watching my supply dwindle with every formula feeding all the while not knowing any better. With my second the doctor recommended the same exact thing, he wanted her to gain weight faster. That time I had educated myself enough not to listen. I believed in myself, I pumped between feedings and I stuck with it and you know what, soon I had MORE than enough milk for my baby, as in a freezer full. Of course there can be exceptions to this, but it’s not MANY women who biologically aren’t capable of feeding their babies. Its very, very few. Many women are told by their doctors that they don’t have what it takes to exclusively breastfeed, they are told they need formula, when instead they should be encouraged to stick with it, and not to give up when those first few weeks prove more than frustrating. Nursing is hard and painful at first, but so is having a baby, it’s just another part of being a mother. Secondly, children don’t NEED non-nutritive suckling. Neither of my children, thank goodness, were into pacifiers, and neither of them are thumb suckers either. When my small babies would start sucking on their hands I’d immediately pick up on the cue that they are hungry and feed them. Babies exhibit those cues to let us know they need something and it’s not a pacifier. That being said, if you want to use a pacifier on your baby or formula I certainly would never judge you for that! However, most healthy babies do not NEED either!
i can come from this as an RN as well, and introducing formula can undermine an early breastfeeding relationship, especially when the mother is in the hospital constantly being pushed to use it by every single nurse who has not taken a class at all on the biological working of the human breast. and non-nutritive sucking can be done at the breast, in fact the more the baby is at the breast the more milk the mother will make. most of the time a baby is sucking is to encourage future milk production.
heathermama recently posted..In my head
oh and as for bed sharing, please do not give advice on something you do not know. i have slept with all of our 6 children and only one still sleeps with us and she is just two years old. they do actually move out of the bed. safe bed sharing is beneficial for both parents and child. it is not a bad habit to care for your children at night.
heathermama recently posted..In my head
Others have already responded to the comments regarding nursing and suckling, as well as the comment about bed sharing as not safe – however, I’d also like to point out that most parents who bedshare (at least, that in my experience) don’t do it for a “cuteness” factor – but in order to best meet their children’s needs. To say “Babies are cute in the bedroom but 6,7,8 and above are not” suggests a rather dismissive attitude towards this aspect of attachment parenting.
I let my newborn sleep with me and it was fantastic for our nursing relationship. New mothers are not typically heavy sleepers either. My eyes were open every time she took a deep breath or moved a muscle, I was very aware of her the entire night. If she got fussy I’d nurse her lying down and it was so relaxing and natural. I feel like my baby was safer and happier with me than in her crib where I couldn’t be there to feel what was going on with her. Eventually I did move her to the crib after about 9 months or so? when she stopped needing to eat so often, but that is because that is when it was right for us. It bothers me people have a problem with other parents sleeping with their babies. That is such a personal choice and some mothers (me included) enjoyed being able to relax and bond at night with their babies.
Great article. While I did use my Bjorn and Boppy a lot, I can see that there are better alternatives available now. I reused everything from my much older first child with my second. 🙂
Other items that I’d leave off the registry are high chair, bumbo seat, changing table, and diaper bag.
For the record.. Any woman that thinks they don’t have enough milk should consult her doctor (or multiple doctors). In emergency situations, Reglan can be prescribed to restart milk production, and hospital-grade breastpumps can increase milk production tenfold. Unless you are taking dangerous medication that shouldn’t be passed to your baby, breastmilk is the best option. If your baby can’t latch, pump it and bottle it. 🙂
Eww, now that I’ve seen the inside of a nose sucker, I’m not sure if I’m buying one ever again.
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I could not live without my stroller. I use it at least 5x a week. I paid $400 for it and I don’t regret a single dime. Because of my stroller, I’m at my goal weight and I can run 10.5 miles without walking. Feels great. I recommend a B.O.B. to any mommy who wants to run.
I have to agree. I support the baby-wearing thing and wish I could do it more but I get so much back pain from nursing that it is really not very comfortable for me to do for long periods of time. If you like to go for long walks with your baby, not just drive to the store, a stroller is a must have! We have a park by my house we walk to almost daily. I bring a diaper bag, water bottles for me and my son and sometimes we have a picnic. That basket in the bottom of the stroller is vital! I couldn’t imagine having her in a carrier while carrying all my other gear on top of keeping track of my older son lol
great list. i think babies need so little… diapers, some jammies, and breasts that is pretty much it. although i did love my slings. 🙂
heathermama recently posted..In my head
While I could see that you think this list could be helpful to first time parents I could see where others would see it as pushy. Everyone parents differently and while these items may not have been useful for you, other babies and parents may get alot of use from some of these items. I have four children and they have all used different things for different lengths of time. I agree that breast is the best but some woman have no desire to breastfeed and know that they will use formula from the start. For the woman that I know like this they dont want people trying to shove breastfeeding down their throat or make them feel guilty for not doing it. All of my children have had and used cribs almost from day one, I never planned to co-sleep and was completely against it. My just turned 2 year old still sleeps in his crib and my just turned 1 yr old spends alot of her time sleeping next to me providing me with a horrible nights sleep. I move her to her crib as often as I can during the night so I can sleep. Pacifiers are an individual choice and some babies will take them some wont. For the babies who take them its providing comfort to them and pacifier usage in babies under 6 months of age has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. I could go on and on but the point is while your article was meant to be informative it comes across as judgmental and pushy to those who dont share your parenting style.
I actually disagree with a lot on this list. Before my child was born, maybe I wouldn’t have, but now I do. First, I live in an apartment with shared laundry, little space and while I was on Maternity Leave, my husband would take our only car to work and leave me stranded in suburban hell. No grocer within 10 kilometers.
For me, getting these items prior to my child’s birth meant that they were there “in case” I needed them. In addition, the early phase of baby care involves a lot of experimentation-no one knows what will work for their child until they try it. Soothers, I was dead set against before my child was born, but three months in-I wasn’t getting any sleep. She wanted to be on the breast until 2am and not really feed. She’d just suck on me and pass out, suck a bit, pass out. Well, I developed mastitis, sore, chapped and bleeding breasts and finally I said “I’m not your soother!” I shoved the first one someone had bought me in at midnight when I’d had enough and my child slept till noon. She was a hungry baby during the day, and I loved to feed her when she was hungry, but the soother saved our lives. I’m not exaggerating. I was also suffering from PPD and PTSD because the labor had been extremely difficult.
I guess what I’m saying is this: don’t post “you don’t need this” unless you’re talking about a car for babies… because you wouldn’t know.
The other thing is, if you have PPD whether mild, moderate or severe, just seeing a post about “you don’t need this” can feel like entrapment. You’re tired, deprived of common sense and you think, “Well, if I shouldn’t need it I won’t try/buy it,” and that poor women is left with the feeling that they don’t know how to solve their child’s needs.
Leave these lists off your blog. You can’t know unless you’ve been in every mother’s situation-and you clearly haven’t.
I disagree with the stroller. I Baby wear a lot, but sometimes, the stroller just comes in handy for holding all the extra stuff we tote around for our little ones. Especially when I dont have a partner in crime to carry it all. We got a Cruzer, which doubles as a Bike Trailer. Let me just tell you, camping with a 5 month old was so much easier with the Cruzer. I also got a Umbrella stroller $7 at a second hand shop and once she fit in that thing it is still my go to stroller.
I have twin boys, and I couldn’t live without my stroller. It helps me every store I go into. I have pushed a cart and a stroller at the same time. Different people have different needs. I also use a carrier, but I can’t carry both of them in a carrier anymore because they have gotten too big!!! I know that this list is suggestive, but every parent needs to do things in a different way. If they do put it on the registry, they can always take it back for credit. My children would take a paci at first, but it got to the point where they wouldn’t anymore. They chew on their thumbs when they are working on theeth. Other than that they don’t suck their thumbs! They have also been exclusively breast fed for nine months with no problems. I would suggest that new Momma’s ask from friends and family what they felt is needed and go on their intution…. As far as the bobby, I didn’t use one for feeding. All I did was position a bunch of pillows so I was comfortable. I also made sure I had water, books, and items when they fell asleep, I could entertain myself!!!
What would I do without “Mr. Bink”??!?! (pacifier) I have a kid that needs to suck! I know Dr. Sears says just let them use you as a human pacifier but I started to go mentally insane sitting on the couch for hours. I honestly wouldn’t register for them though, that seems silly. We found that we like the MAM ones. They are light, easy to clean and BPA free. 🙂
Oh and let me say I was dead set against using one until my lil guy was born.
My girl loves the MAM ones too!! Binkies are a lifesaver! I love Dr. Sears but don’t agree with letting your baby use you as a human pacifier – a baby needs to latch to your breast when hungry, not to feed in spurts and fussy intervals unless you want to wear a lot of spit up.
Christina Ventura-DiPersia recently posted..Tia’s Sweeps-Go-Round Wednesday Round #1 – Week of 7-17-13 Sweeps to Enter
I completely agree with your comment on moms giving up on breastfeeding too easily. I know there are people that have issues that may not allow them to breastfeed, but I think a lot of women just give up. I worked for three months with my first until she “got it”. This included pumping 6-7 times a day, breastfeeding clinics with a consultant, and a whole home routine. It was hard and it hurt, and my hubby and best friend still can’t believe I stuck with it. Also, I just had the formula from those “gift bags” that they give you at the hospital and/or doctor’s office as back up. I only used it once when I was really frustrated and desperate when she was first born before I started pumping. You have to really want to BF to make it through with a difficult child and I don’t think a lot of new moms know how hard it can be. It doesn’t always come “naturally”.
I agree with most of your article, except the fact of formula. My three boys never breast fed. I was one of those few who could not breast feed due to various medical problems from one child to the next. My first pregnancy i had high blood pressure so the dr. put me on Magnesium until i was released from the hospital. So by that time my son wouldnt latch on and I wouldnt produce. We tried for 2 months and nothing ever came. My 2nd son had pylortic stanosis and we vomiting every meal, and my 3rd I was back to being dry. I am an advocate for breast feeding I just couldnt and was very thankful for formula. It gave my hubby, and my dad the chance to bond with our boys just as much as me, or my mom could.
Its easier to break a kid from a pacifier than a Thumb. My 9yr old and 3year old still suck their thumbs. My youngest more than the older oviously. My now 11yr old was broke of the pacifier at 6 months. Sometimes a paci is just better.
I couldn’t agree more! I can embarassingly admit now that I had a lot of thumb sucking issues as a child. No one ever really pushed me to stop as a child because it soothes me and it caused a lot of issues with my teeth coming in. I actually needed a special orthodontic thing put in my mouth to help me stop sucking my thumb when I was a kid before I could even be considered for braces when I was 11. Thumb sucking is not a habit one should take lightly – pacifiers are made to be orthodontically safe. Thumbs obviously aren’t.
Christina Ventura-DiPersia recently posted..Tia’s Sweeps-Go-Round Wednesday Round #1 – Week of 7-17-13 Sweeps to Enter
I love this list! I think expectant parents, whether they are ‘crunchy’ or not will find this helpful. Every time another friend of mine becomes pregnant with her first, she says how overwhelmed she is with all the stuff out there, and wants to know what she DOESN’T need.
I would add to this list the video monitor, wipes warmer (it’s a nice idea, but it seems like they usually end up unused), baby swing and changing table. I know lots of people use their changing tables/stations, but I just never found a need for it. A soft carrier is a must (Moby!) as well as really good swaddle blankets, and baby gowns. I also love Blessed Nest’s nursing pillow. It puts the boppy and breast friend to shame.
Thank you for this post! I just pinned it 🙂
Kelly recently posted..8 Ways to Say No at Work – Without Feeling Guilty
Can agree with maybe half of these. I’m guessing the author didn’t have more than one small child at a time in order for this list to fit her lifestyle . . . and likely not more than one child total, as some of these “needs” will vary from child to child. 🙂 I’m finding you get less and less judgemental the more children (especially the more small children at once!) you have.
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Great list, although I think a baby tub is not necessarily a bad idea. We have the eurobath which has one side to support babies and the other accommodates bigger kiddos. We’ve saved so much water because we’re not filling our big tub. my 4 year old is still using it!
I might also add shopping for second hand clothes. Places like Once upon a Child have lots of things sold to them that still have the tags on.
Thanks!
I don’t agree with the co-sleeping endorsement. Co-sleeping can be quite dangerous with heavy sleepers and those who flop all over the bed at night. I’ve allowed my husband to let our son sleep with us a few times but after coming home and seeing our son with his face down into the mattress I had to stop this. His poor little face was so hot from breathing and I am thankful I came home early or this could be a very different post. Most of the other items on the list I can agree with.
I respect where you’re coming from with a lot of these, but I don’t agree with the pacifiers. Babies have a natural urge to suck, and letting your baby use your breast as a pacifier isn’t the best idea for many reasons. When I let my girl stay asleep while on my breast, she ends up having a real spit up episode because she’s swallowing a lot more air and milk inadvertently while sleeping.
I also don’t believe in the nipple confusion “issue” that people push about pacifiers. Babies, even newborns, are not idiots – they understand that sucking a pacifier doesn’t give them food while sucking your breast does. Artificial nipples on bottles and artificial nipples on pacifiers do not have the same effect on breastfeeding.
Giving my girl a binky – and mind you, she’s had a fantastic latch and has fed great on the breast since 2 hours after I had her at her first feed – keeps her asleep and soothes her when she wants to suck but doesn’t want my breast (like when she’s gassy). They are worth their weight in gold to me.
I am sick and tired of mom’s who use formula being called “less”. I tried every strategy and supplement I could find as well as a lactation consultant and I just didn’t produce enough milk to feed my little ones. They WOULD HAVE starved if I didn’t give them formula. They had each lost more than 1lb in 60 hours because they weren’t getting anything from me and were screaming because they were so hungry as we tried to make exclusive breast feeding an option. So, please don’t judge or make critical comments about bottles and formula, or whatever any mother chooses to use in order to survive. You don’t know until you have been in her shoes.
I know this post is a little older, but we tried the dishwasher baskets for small items. I have always gone back to hand washing bottles and small items. Many time there would be a film or something would be flipped over with nasty standing water in them and still have to hand wash.